Torn

You know how sometimes you get a chance to glance back on time and ponder? I've had that rare opportunity today, and I see one thing in particular that stands out: I am stuck in the middle of two worlds. I'm fully up to my eyeballs in Dark Lost Tribal World, and Western Shiny Alseep in the Light World. I'm pulled emotionally by the desperation and lost-ness of our tribal friends. I'm pulled and frustrated by the commercialism, materialism and distraction that is overwhelming the American Church (it's amazing what you see when you back up about 10,000 miles).  I'm saddenned by both situations, and feel deeply responsible to both.

I'm torn exactly in two.

I wrestled some with this as I also pondered how on earth can we bring Light to such a dark place when we've come to the village as broken, ruined people?

At first, I was overwhelmed by this because I thought, "Oh no. I am not capable, qualified or worthy to stand in the gap!" Then I remembered that it's not my job actually to be the bridge. That's what Jesus is. He is the Bridge. I just get to be here as He makes the connection between darkness and Light. I cannot wait.

To you, dear beloved Church of America I say: "Glory is waiting outside your window, baby open up your eyes… Hearts are stronger as they're broken. All these victims stand in line for the crumbs that fall from the table, just enough to get by. All the while, your invitation.... wake on up from your slumber! Open up your eyes!" (Needtobreathe) [also – I, in no way – at all - am referring to the political situation]

To you dear lost ones I say: "This is not the end. We will open our eyes wide, wide, wider! This is not our last…our last breath. We will open our mouths wide, wider. This is not the end of us. We will shine like the stars, bright, brighter!" (Gungor)

My heart will burst before I can handle how full it is for both sides. Good thing I have special overflow units – and that I need not shoulder these burdens alone.

This is my one consolation.